John Schmidt and Johann Smith?
by YouGottaSingAlong
Summary: Doctor who? Two Doctors cross paths in a London American diner at the festive time of year


Author's Note: This is a Christmas present for **enigma-kar**, I'm running out of this little spark I had in the morning so this is the tail end. Also, this is a **ONESHOT TASTER**, although at some point I may continue to put anyone in misery out of their misery (like anyone would be in misery over this travesty).

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or any of its characters, I do not own in any way _Nine To Five_, as far as I know I do not own any of the quotes I may have used within this chapter. I do own Aiden.

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The tenth incarnation of a Time Lord who went by the alias of 'the Doctor' swung round the door of the TARDIS... _"... in the shower, And the blood starts pumping, Out on the streets the traffic starts jumping... And folks like me on the job..." _

He glanced around in delight at the snowy cityscape of London, "Earth! 21st Century," he sniffed, "Oh that's good, 2010. Good year, nice year... things back on track, Deathly Hallows out in the cinemas. Wait..." He trailed off, before grabbing a man passing, "Sorry, but, could you tell me what day it is?"

The man looked at him, "Do you ever know when it's Christmas, man? I mean, some people celebrate but this is the third year you've stopped me to ask that."

"Have I?" The Doctor scratched his head, "Christmas... And it's snowing," He stuck out his tongue to catch a flake. "Yep, real snow, real water-y, natural snow... that tastes good."

"You are really pissed, aren't you?" The Glaswegian raised an eyebrow. "Of course its bloody snow, what else would it be?"

"Oh, I dunno," The Doctor looked delighted still, a grin stretched across his face, "An artificially created snowfall caused by basic atmospheric excitation, a spaceship breaking up in the atmosphere and causing an ash drift... oh, the possibilities are endless."

"Riiight," The man laughed, "You another of these, 'The Earth was transported across space during the Great Shaker, and'-"

"Shaker?" The Doctor questioned, interrupting.

"Yeah, you pissed that night too, I'll admit to being out for forty-eight hours then. Completely blutered, out cold on the floor, no-one even bothered shifting me. I had a killer hangover." He laughed.

"Shaker?"

"C'mon, you must know... there was some disturbance that gave the illusion of the stars shifting, and there was some giant earthquake, worldwide..."

"Oh, of course, being dense... what are you doing out at this time on Christmas Day, though?"

"You know the time?!" the man asked in mock horror. "Ach, I've nothing else to do. No family, my work brought me down here, and the guys there are arses, so my mates are up North, I was just coming out to buy my roomie some vitamins..." He held out his hand, "Time we were properly introduced, I'm Aiden Coulan."

"John Smith," the Doctor gripped his hand with a smile, "Most people call me the Doctor."

"Good to meet you, Doctor Smith. I am half starved, so if you'll forgive me, I'm going to nip home to drop these off then head off for some breaky..." He began moving away, before turning and asking, "This is an odd question, I mean, we don't know each other or anything... but would you like to join me? Meet me at the All Day Diner in half an hour if you do."

Aidan winked then dashed off. The Doctor turned away and began walking up the street hands stuck jauntily in his pockets. He started whistling. Somehow, he found himself in an American café with an overly enthusiastic owner… waiting to have Christmas breakfast, something he did less than dinner, with a complete stranger, _I wonder who rubbed this off on me… not Martha for sure. Rose and Jackie or Donna? I'm getting all festive. _He laughed.

Shortly after his arrival, Aiden returned, his ginger hair laced with white and rapidly melting snowflakes, "I look like a Christmas cake." He sat down, "Okay, Doctor Smith, what do you want?"

"I actually, it just occurred to me…" The Doctor pated his shirt, "I don't have any money. Maybe I should just…"

"Don't sweat it, I'll get yours, my little Northern roomie will be joining us soon-ish, I think. So I'm covering him too-"

The large Yankee stereotype behind the counter called out, "It's Christmas so the buffets not out… would you gents like to order?"

Aiden looked over, "I'm waiting for 'Johann' this morning, but Doctor… if there's anything you want…"

"Nah, I'm fine at the moment. Good to be fed at all."

"Okay, two coffees then, Steve. Are… you fine with coffee?" Aiden looked questioningly over.

"Tea would be good. Thanks." The Doctor looked over, _Yep, definitely Jackie._ "If that's…"

"It's fine, and it's Christmas… everything here is half price courtesy of my man, Steve, over there."

Steve smiled down on them, "Look, I'll do a full English for 'Johann', and you two gents can order, because my pots and pans are waiting."

Aiden passed the menu across to the Doctor with a grin and a shake of his head. "I just got paid, so don't be modest on my account. Get whatever you want."

"Am I included in this little free-for-all?" A Northern accent issued from the door, where a tall, middle aged man with mid length hair and large ears poking through it, stood. "Aiden my boy, I have got myself a job."

"Oh really?" Aiden laughed again, "Are you going to pay your rent this month?"

The Doctor leant out, trying to cover his surprise, and shook ''Johann''s' hand, "Nice to meet you, I'm… I'm Doctor John Smith."

'Johann' nodded as he gripped the Doctor's hand and grinned ear to ear, "Johann Schmidt."

The Doctor almost laughed, "German?"

"My parents; I was brought up in Lancashire." He sat down, shrugging his large leather jacket over the back of his chair. "I knew I guy called John Smith once."

"It's… it's a common name."

Aiden stuck his hand between them, "Do I still exist?"

'Johann' smirked, running his hand back through his hair. "I am _never_ going to let my hair get this long again, it makes me look like a tramp."

Aiden licked his lips in exaggeration as a plate was thumped before him, piled high with pancakes; the Doctor received a similar pile, while 'Johann' grabbed a fork and delved into his bacon and eggs. Aiden lifted his mug, "Merry Christmas, ladies."

The two other men spluttered at the same time, "Who larchoo calfing 'ladeesh'?"

"_You_." He happily crammed a forkful of maple syrup and pancake into his mouth. "I love Christmas. I actually get three meals."

A cheerful banter continued between the three men, but the Doctor was confused, _Why the hell don't I remember this man? If I stayed with him… how do I find out why I'm staying with him without telling myself who I am?_


End file.
